Yesterday I said farewell to my beloved Pepper. He became very sick and his health decreased very rapidly in the past few days. We did what we could to save him, but in the end he had to go. I had wished that he would live a long, healthy and happy life with us, but I accept that that isn't in my power to fulfill. :(
I knew even then that he wasn't mine to keep permanently, that I would eventually have to say goodbye. In the three years he was with us, I endeavored to be the best bunny-mom I could be, so that I could collect many happy memories. Now that he has been taken from me, I choose not to focus on the sadness of loss but on all the good he has brought into our lives.
God gave him (and his brother Davey, who is still alive and well) to me when I was going through an arduous and trying time. He was unexpected but very warmly welcomed. He was just a tiny ball of fur that could sit in one of my hands back then. He brought me joy and helped me to stay positive; whenever I got depressed, he never failed to cheer me up, simply by being cute and fluffy.
He taught me a lot about love, grace and faith. He even taught me much theology - the character of God, how God connects, how the Lord can be so forgiving to those who fail him over and over. Even after his last nose-wiggle, I learned something from my dear Pepper. His passing solidified my conviction that Jesus truly loves me, and cares about what I care about.
He was a good and beautiful rabbit, and I will remember him that way. I will remember how he would hop onto the bed and nuzzle my face, how he would give me nose-bonks to ask for a raisin, how he followed me around and huddled next to me. He was really sweet and loving. He wasn't the most energetic of bunnies, but he was very curious, poking here and there - it was at times bit annoying, but always thoroughly endearing. I recall how people who saw him would say he was a gorgeous little animal; indeed, he was - he had soft, cushy fur with Dutch markings. In his prissiness, he managed to keep his white coat gleaming clean. He had bigger-than-usual round eyes, thick, long "eyelashes" and velvety ears. He was instantly loveable.
The past 24 hours have been terribly sad for me, but I'm no victim of regret. I know I gave him a comfortable, happy home and he was as blissful as a bunny can be. He has affected and enriched me in many ways, and I'm grateful and honored to have welcomed him in my life. Little as he was, he was an enormous blessing from God, and I will always be thankful for him, even long after he is gone.
You will be missed and always loved, Bunny Bun Bun.