Thursday, May 14, 2009

married me

The Hubby and I recently had dessert at a (slightly) older couple's home. As we flowed down the tributaries of our conversation, one of the things we happened to discuss was the fact that there were a lot of single (not-so-young) adults in our church who still have the desire to get hitched but are nowhere near fulfilling that plan of action. We had mixed emotions toward the single adults we knew - some were a source of amusement, others an object of amusement; I wouldn't say we pitied anyone though I'm pretty sure there are some who pity themselves. It wasn't really scorn or anything of that sort that we felt for those singles - but it sure wasn't admiration either. Lemme just say that we were all thankful we weren't in their shoes.

At a personal note, I'm really, really thankful I got hitched before age 25 (and that's a young age to marry by some people's standards). I'm even more glad for the fact that I'm no longer playing the torturous waiting game. Or the odious dating game. I never had the misfortune of playing more rounds of the game than necessary, because I met my Hubby when I was 21 and married him in less than a year after we started dating. So I don't quite know how it is to be a single adult. I can't relate with 30's-ish single lady friends still hoping and pining for Mr. Right while pathetically feeling so sorry for themselves. I know this is an arrogant, insensitive thing to say, but - I'm so glad I can't.

It's a great thing to love and be loved especially and exclusively by one person - sharing and serving and all that. And before I go into a lengthy litany of mushy things about marriage, let me stop myself right here.

I am also thankful that I am no longer a teenager wondering and wandering and wanting and waiting. I can still recall the torture, the heartbreak and the stupidity involved with being that age - that awkward time in life when you just ache to be wanted but don't ever seem to get to be. I was at the sixteenth birthday party of one of my girls last week, where the after-dinner chat wound down into every teener's favorite topic: romance, courtship and dating. The Hubby and I were so game to share our insights to the ingenues sitting at our feet, hoping to impart to them some useful wisdom to align with their theology; bless those yung'uns. At a personal level, I'm glad I'm no longer at that stage where they're at. Heartbreak isn't a pain I'd like to wish on anybody. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen; but it i.m.h.o., it really doesn't HAVE to happen at that age.

Though there are a lot of things to be blessed about for being single, I am immensely happy to be married. Marriage isn't for everybody - and I wouldn't recommend it for everybody - but it works for me. Insert long, mushy litany here.